Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Temporary Improvements

I am sitting in my bed in the basement of a hostel that serves as the cheap and convenient dwelling during my current stay in Stockholm City, the "Venice of the North". The Slovenian man in the bunk above mine shifts ever so often, making the whole structure creak. He's not particularly heavy, it just does at the slightest movement. It worries me, because my cell phone is set to wake me at 7 o'clock sharp, and I don't want to disturb him needlessly, nor his girlfriend. She sleeps in the adjacent two-level bed above the Irish chemist who has claimed the last remaining bunk in this tiny room. He speaks with an Irish rumble that makes me automatically slip into my own Scottish brogue, and with his carrot-red hair, freckled face and love for soccer and rugby he is a lovable stereotype of his nation. He's never seen snow before, and has confessed he spent the entire day walking around enjoying it. I consider him my friend, and now I no longer mind the snow so much.

But the purpose of my post wasn't to tell everyone about all the new friends I've made, but rather an intriguing observation on a certain behaviour that I find particularly interesting: my own. Usually, as many of my friends and family can attest, I am rather lazy and sloppy - I might even constitute as a slob at times. But here and now (and, looking back, also in the past) I find myself working and organizing myself with an almost militaristic rigour. My pack is neatly shoved under my bed, its content compartmentalized. My jacket hangs on a hook instead of being slung over a chair as it usually is, and I ingeniously used a coathanger to hang my wet bath towel to dry. Even before I had finished my revision course of the day (which is my reason for being here, by the way. I'm doing fine, it is very rewarding) I had already scheduled to visit the budo & fitness store I saw heading to my classes this morning, as well as scoping out the immediate area to find fitting stores for food and other necessisties. My cell phone/alarm clock, my watch and my glasses are all geometrically lined up beside my pillow, and I have already planned out an Order of Doing Things when I wake up tomorrow morning, which starts with immediately going up by the bell (and I do it too. I know, I shock myself!). I have even folded my clothes! The only exception is me staying up way too late to write this post...

This uncharacteristic reversal of my usual unstructured behaviour seems to occur whenever I am alone for a longer period of time, generally in a strange place. Same thing happens in me and my mom's apartment when she's gone for more than two days: doing the dishes? No problem. A list of tasks to be done before she comes home? Nicely ticked off and proudly presented to her at her return. Apparently I rise to the (not-particularily-challenging) challenge of getting a hold of the structuring part of my life only when I absolutely have to.

It's kind of a downer, since it suggests that I'm lazy and unhelpful unless I really need to be - I know that I'll regress into my usual pattern of strewing my things around me as soon as I come home. But it also gives me hope because I know that I won't be helpless if I ever find myself on my own, wherever and however I may be.