Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Temporary Improvements

I am sitting in my bed in the basement of a hostel that serves as the cheap and convenient dwelling during my current stay in Stockholm City, the "Venice of the North". The Slovenian man in the bunk above mine shifts ever so often, making the whole structure creak. He's not particularly heavy, it just does at the slightest movement. It worries me, because my cell phone is set to wake me at 7 o'clock sharp, and I don't want to disturb him needlessly, nor his girlfriend. She sleeps in the adjacent two-level bed above the Irish chemist who has claimed the last remaining bunk in this tiny room. He speaks with an Irish rumble that makes me automatically slip into my own Scottish brogue, and with his carrot-red hair, freckled face and love for soccer and rugby he is a lovable stereotype of his nation. He's never seen snow before, and has confessed he spent the entire day walking around enjoying it. I consider him my friend, and now I no longer mind the snow so much.

But the purpose of my post wasn't to tell everyone about all the new friends I've made, but rather an intriguing observation on a certain behaviour that I find particularly interesting: my own. Usually, as many of my friends and family can attest, I am rather lazy and sloppy - I might even constitute as a slob at times. But here and now (and, looking back, also in the past) I find myself working and organizing myself with an almost militaristic rigour. My pack is neatly shoved under my bed, its content compartmentalized. My jacket hangs on a hook instead of being slung over a chair as it usually is, and I ingeniously used a coathanger to hang my wet bath towel to dry. Even before I had finished my revision course of the day (which is my reason for being here, by the way. I'm doing fine, it is very rewarding) I had already scheduled to visit the budo & fitness store I saw heading to my classes this morning, as well as scoping out the immediate area to find fitting stores for food and other necessisties. My cell phone/alarm clock, my watch and my glasses are all geometrically lined up beside my pillow, and I have already planned out an Order of Doing Things when I wake up tomorrow morning, which starts with immediately going up by the bell (and I do it too. I know, I shock myself!). I have even folded my clothes! The only exception is me staying up way too late to write this post...

This uncharacteristic reversal of my usual unstructured behaviour seems to occur whenever I am alone for a longer period of time, generally in a strange place. Same thing happens in me and my mom's apartment when she's gone for more than two days: doing the dishes? No problem. A list of tasks to be done before she comes home? Nicely ticked off and proudly presented to her at her return. Apparently I rise to the (not-particularily-challenging) challenge of getting a hold of the structuring part of my life only when I absolutely have to.

It's kind of a downer, since it suggests that I'm lazy and unhelpful unless I really need to be - I know that I'll regress into my usual pattern of strewing my things around me as soon as I come home. But it also gives me hope because I know that I won't be helpless if I ever find myself on my own, wherever and however I may be.

6 comments:

D said...

Stellar! This sounds like the kind of realization of self that one would actually pay the revision course fee for and be left with the lingering feeling of a square deal. With practise, maybe you can summon your hidden organizational skills at will. ;) "Victory favors neither the righteous nor the wicked. It favors the prepared."

Yeonni said...

I must confess the same pattern, but unfortunately it only lasts as long as the location I'm in appears somewhat new and challenging. As soon as an everyday trot can be hinted, my behavior returns to sloppy and despairingly lazy. It gives as much hope as it induces despair over the strangely arranged self-discipline.

I actually had an idea to start living "on the run" to try and keep this effectiveness up, but I suspect the "on the run" will also become everyday eventually. Well, still an idea to save for free future days.

Anonymous said...

Oh my goodness...
I just hope it isn't "too little, too late..." !! Perhaps you should camp out in a military tent on the town square during the month of May....that might induce a prolonged "temporary improvement"????
:)

Nefandus said...

I have no idea who just said that...

Rik said...

I don't know - I think discipline has a lot to do with adaption. Maybe I'm damaged by how much I've studied the mind and the brain this past year, but I think in a way that one is only disciplined when one needs it.

That is to say, discipline is summoned when it is absolutely necessary, and then dispelled once you begin to process things automatically - but automatic processing also implies a higher mastery of whatever one is doing at the time. Interestingly, that implies being disciplined is more flexible than being casual - casuality requires one to be calm and well used to the task, discipline allows one to take on new challenges.

Writing is an excellent exercise in this. It's easy to write casually, but it's hard to really be productive without the discipline needed to be flexible.

Glad to hear the revision courses are going well, by the by - we're derailing the subject a tad here :P

Maria said...

Ok, nu har du tjatat på mig att jag ska lägga en comment på din blogg, men jag förstår inte riktigt varför för allt jag kan säga är att du skriver skitbra, men det har jag ju redan sagt till dig så detta inlägg känns ganska onödigt. Nej, det jag ville fråga var: vad har du för email, jag hittar den inte på din profil. Ska maila bilderna från idag till folk,tänkte att du också kanske ville ha dem. (Note: Jag tänker inte conforma, jag håller mig till min pålitliga svengelska på den här bloggen!)